Quite a lot to like here. Strong pacing, good visuals, and a decent sense of stakes exists within the narrative. You manage to show Holg as capable, intelligent, and still at risk enough that he's required to fight intelligently.
Small piece of advice, though - since this story isn't finished, maybe note in the title that it's part 1 of 2. It wasn't until I reached the final three paragraphs that I realized this was going to end in the middle, which is a little disappointing since that's when the action started to ramp up.
Yeah, I had considered delaying it more to finish it in full, but it was already Friday night before I figured out why I couldn't get a story out for Wednesday, namely that this story wanted out. It will have a part II, likely in the next week or two.
If there's one thing I've learned about this platform. People will forgive being tardy, especially if the story is good. I'm two days behind on posting last weeks, and It'll probably be monday before I post it. Which means that next weeks might be late as well.
Quite a lot to like here. Strong pacing, good visuals, and a decent sense of stakes exists within the narrative. You manage to show Holg as capable, intelligent, and still at risk enough that he's required to fight intelligently.
Small piece of advice, though - since this story isn't finished, maybe note in the title that it's part 1 of 2. It wasn't until I reached the final three paragraphs that I realized this was going to end in the middle, which is a little disappointing since that's when the action started to ramp up.
Updated, appreciate the reminder.
The story is somewhat incomplete, but so far, it's a good story. Plenty of action, a little drama, some great description. I can't wait for part II.
Yeah, I had considered delaying it more to finish it in full, but it was already Friday night before I figured out why I couldn't get a story out for Wednesday, namely that this story wanted out. It will have a part II, likely in the next week or two.
If there's one thing I've learned about this platform. People will forgive being tardy, especially if the story is good. I'm two days behind on posting last weeks, and It'll probably be monday before I post it. Which means that next weeks might be late as well.